When “Healthy” Becomes Harmful: My Story of Wellness Perfectionism, and What the Science Says
I don’t talk about this much. . . but during the end of college and throughout graduate school, I was caught in a trap I didn’t fully understand at the time.
I was studying neuroscience, specifically the science of stress and anxiety. And yet, I was also silently, rigidly trying to manage my own anxiety disorder through obsessive control of food and exercise.
I certainly wouldn’t have called it an eating disorder at the time. I called it Discipline. Motivation. Being healthy.
But in hindsight, the signs were clear.
⸻
Each morning, I’d wake up at 5:00am, even after late nights of lab work or studying. Rain or shine, I’d take the bus - or often ride my bike - to the University of Pittsburgh athletic center to be there the moment it opened at 7:00am. I’d run exactly 5 miles on the treadmill, at a pace between 6.6 and 7.0 mph - never slower, never shorter.
Then, it was off to my neuroscience courses or research lab by 8:30am.
Alongside this, I restricted what I ate in the name of “health”- but really, it was fear, anxiety, and control. I avoided anything I deemed unhealthy (though, admittedly, my understanding of nutrition at the time was flawed). I’d quietly judge those who ate a cookie at seminar events while I munched on the raw carrots.
And if I missed a workout - say, while traveling - I wouldn’t just feel off. I’d feel deep, physical distress. I couldn’t relax until I had “made up for it.” The same went for food: If I overindulged even slightly, the guilt would spiral into more restriction and more workouts.
Looking back, I now recognize how textbook many of these patterns were: hallmark symptoms of anorexia (restrictive eating and compulsive exercise) driven by anxiety. It took me years - and a lot of unlearning - to heal my relationship with health, exercise, and food - and to reframe what true wellness actually means.
⸻
When Self-Care Becomes Self-Control
That’s why today, when I see people obsessing over health “perfection,” whether it’s tracking every step, eating with rigid rules, or striving for an ideal version of wellness - I’m immediately cautious.
Because I’ve lived it. And because neuroscience shows just how slippery this slope can be.
In fact, I recently contributed to a piece in Real Simple about the wellness habits I’ve let go of and why. Two stand out:
• The pursuit of perfect health
• Wearing a fitness tracker 24/7
Both of these habits may seem helpful on the surface (and for many people can be helpful!). But when they’re rooted in fear, control, or self-judgment, they become anything but healthy.
⸻
The Neuroscience of Perfectionism and Obsessive Tracking
Let’s start with perfectionism.
We often celebrate perfectionism in wellness culture; it looks like willpower, discipline, consistency. But research shows it’s frequently associated with poor mental health outcomes, especially when it’s driven by anxiety or self-worth that is tied to achievement.
A large meta-analysis identified perfectionism as a transdiagnostic risk factor - meaning it’s linked to a wide variety of psychological disorders including depression, anxiety, OCD, and eating disorders. One study described the perfectionist’s life as “riddled with fear and extreme caution,” full of thoughts like:
Did I eat the right thing? Did I miss a workout? Am I falling behind?
From a brain perspective, this constant mental surveillance triggers the stress response. The hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis becomes overactive, releasing excessive cortisol (the body’s main stress hormone), which can impair emotional regulation, increase inflammation, harm recovery and immunity, and negatively impact cognition, learning, and memory.
In short: perfectionism in health doesn’t lead to better health. It often leads to burnout, anxiety, and dysregulation - both physically and mentally.
⸻
Now, let’s talk about fitness trackers.
I’m not anti-tracking. In fact, I think wearables can be great tools for insight (I wear a tracker for sleep and often one to observe my HR during workouts). But the problem arises when data replaces intuition. When numbers drive your behavior instead of your internal sense of how you feel.
A recent study in the Journal of the American Heart Association found that up to 20% of people with atrial fibrillation experienced anxiety from wearable alerts. . . even when there was no medical emergency. In other words, the alert itself caused unnecessary stress.
Another study showed that people’s beliefs about their activity - based solely on their tracker - influenced how healthy they thought they were, regardless of actual health metrics. So even if someone was objectively active, seeing a low step count made them feel worse.
Tracking can also worsen obsessive tendencies, especially in people prone to anxiety. A recent paper in Frontiers in Digital Health found that wearable users with existing mental health conditions had significantly higher preoccupation and unnecessary healthcare utilization than non-users.
⸻
Wellness Without Guilt, Control, or Perfection
The truth is: we’re not designed for 24/7 self-monitoring. Our nervous system thrives when we feel safe, regulated, and present - not when we’re micromanaging every step or calorie.
What I’ve come to believe, after both personal experience and years of neuroscience research, is this:
True wellness is not found in perfection. It’s built through flexibility, self-compassion, and trust.
Today, I don’t strive to be perfectly healthy. I strive to feel connected to my body. To notice when I’m stressed. To rest when I need to. To move in ways that feel good. To eat in ways that fuel, not punish.
I no longer measure health in numbers alone, but in how I feel in my brain and body. And that, I’ve found, is the path to sustainable well-being.
⸻
Practical Tips to Break Free from Perfectionism and Unhealthy Tracking
If you’re realizing that your health habits feel more like rules than choices, here are some small but powerful ways to loosen the grip of perfectionism and data obsession.
1. Shift from “Perfect” to “Good Enough” Goals
Perfectionism fuels the brain’s error-detection system (the anterior cingulate cortex), which can keep you in a constant state of self-critique. Instead of all-or-nothing goals (“I must run 5 miles every day”), set flexible ranges (“I’ll move my body for 20–40 minutes most days”). This calms the nervous system and makes success more attainable.
2. Build in Untracked Days
If you use a fitness tracker, try one or two “tracker-free” days each week. This helps you reconnect with your body’s internal cues your interoceptive awareness - rather than relying solely on external metrics.
3. Replace Metrics With Mindfulness Cues
Instead of asking “did I hit my numbers?”; ask, “how do I feel?” Scan your body for signs of energy, tension, or fatigue. Over time, this trains your brain’s insula (a key region for body awareness) to guide your choices.
4. Practice Self-Compassion Before Self-Correction
The next time you skip a workout or eat something you’ve labeled “unhealthy,” pause before rushing into “make-up” mode. Stop and ask yourself what you would tell your best friend if they were in your current situation? We are often much harder on ourselves than others, and this reframing can help us foster improved self-perspective. Research on self-compassion shows it activates the brain’s caregiving circuits (the same ones that activate when comforting a friend), reducing shame and improving motivation long-term.
5. Keep Your “Why” Front and Center
Perfectionism often hijacks your original intentions. Write down why you want to be healthy - energy to play with your kids, resilience for your work, joy in movement, freedom for adventure - and revisit it weekly. This shifts focus from fear-based control to values-based action.
6. Expand Your Definition of Success
Track things that actually improve your quality of life but aren’t tied to numbers: moments of laughter, time in nature, feeling rested, or eating a satisfying meal. This trains your brain’s reward system to value balance and well-being, not just discipline.
7. Seek Support Early
If you notice guilt, anxiety, or compulsive thoughts around food, exercise, or tracking, reach out to a friend, therapist, or support group. Talking openly interrupts the isolation that perfectionism thrives on.
⸻
If You’re Struggling
If this resonates with you - if you’ve ever felt trapped in a cycle of “doing health right” or punishing yourself for being “off” - you’re not alone.
There’s another way. And you don’t have to walk it perfectly!
If you’re curious about shifting toward a healthier, more compassionate relationship with wellness, join me for a free workshop or download my free wellness guide for brain-friendly tools and rituals rooted in science and self-kindness.
